Balthazar on Rules Lawyers

We asked Balthazar to talk about dice, and he recorded this video which, in a way, is kind of about dice. It’s Balthazar’s opinion on rules lawyer and how despite his title as the D&D World Champion he is not a rules lawyer. He is a story lawyer.


Hello. I’m Balthazar, yes the Balthazar, one of the world’s leading Dungeons & Dragons players and I’m here to tell you: there’s a lot of rules lawyers out there when you’re playing Dungeons & Dragons. I am not a rules lawyer: I am a story lawyer.

I tell stories, sometimes with my brain, and my mouth, and my eyebrow, but often with my dice. I roll my dice and I’m not all like, “Oh that’s a four, I’m so upset, oh.” No, I’m like, “That’s a story.”

These are my emotion numbers. I connect to the other players. It’s not like “Oh, oh I didn’t hit you.” It’s “I foured you.” And that’s true. That’s honesty. That’s a four and I just foured all over you.

Story lawyers. That’s what you should want to be.

Balthazar Opens a Pound o’ Dice

We asked Balthazar to open a Pound o’ Dice and give us his impressions of what he found inside. Balthazar got lucky with a particularly ugly 7-set and did not hold any punches.

Ultimately the Pound o’ Dice is a mix of awesome Chessex premium dice combined with less stellar dice, combined with strange frankenstein dice. What it gives you is a solid pound of dice, which usually averages to around 100 dice, though the exact count varies from pound to pound. Despite the mix of good and ugly — or perhaps because of it — the Pound o’ Dice remains a favorite of die hard gamers everywhere. It’s a great way to get a heck of a lot of dice for a very low price.

Balthazar on Dice Bags

Balthazar returns to Awesome Dice with another informational video, this time on the subject of dice bags. We gave Balthazar a handful of different dice bags to give us his rundown and opinion, and as always Balthazar did not disappoint.

In fact, Balthazar went a step further and gave some advice on what kind of gamer would prefer to use each kind of dice bag. Check it out:

Balthazar on D&D 5th Edition

We asked Balthazar if he would record a video about the 5th edition news, and his thoughts on 5th edition as one of the world’s leading Dungeons & Dragons players. What we received was over an hour of footage of Balthazar alternately ranting and raving in between lulls of philosophical musing. This video is some highlights of Balthazar’s thoughts on D&D editions.

While we don’t necessarily always agree with Balthazar, it has to be agreed that 4E was largely a reaction to MMOs and World of Warcraft in particular — and certainly an RPG is never going to be as good as a MMO at being a MMO. I agree with Balthazar that it was, thematically, the wrong direction to take D&D and I think the move has demonstrably hurt the brand and Paizo’s Pathfinder has reaped the benefit. But as D&D players, we’re paying the price with an increasingly fractured playerbase.

I’m very curious to see what direction Wizard’s takes with 5th edition, and whether it’s at all possible to capture a bit of that 3rd edition magic again.

Balthazar on D&D 5th Edition Transcription:

Oh hello. I’m Balthazar. Yes, the Balthazar.

You know there’s all this talk about the announcement of fifth edition Dungeons and Dragons and how it’s going to go into development and oh they want your opinion? Well in my opinion, 5th edition Dungeons and Dragons has been completed for quite some time and it’s called … Pathfinder!

Let’s be honest. D&D 4th edition was a piece of #%!$, or #%!$ if you’re British. We all know that they basically just ripped off World of Warcraft and as we all know World of Warcraft sucks ass — a bunch of #%!$ing lonely people sit in their basement on their computers. And being lonely and in a basement, that’s fine, that’s #%!$ing tradition, but having a computer there, that’s just #%!$ing weird!

If I wanted to play World of Warcraft I would just cut off my balls with surgical precision, move back in with my mother and just sit there tippity tippity tippity on my little computer. No, I need a man’s game, with pencils and graphs and dice and #%!$.

I don’t know man, I don’t know what happened with Wizards of the Coast. They had all this awesome pool of talent for 3rd edition but then just pfffff.

Monte Cook: one of the creator’s of 3rd edition went on to create his own successful game line.

Chris Pramas left and created his own company, Green Ronin, and created Mutants & Masterminds, two great things that go great together.

Cindi Rice: intelligent, resourceful, hot — even though she’s kind of responsible for the Dungeons & Dragons movie, we’re going to let that slide.

Erik Mona: RPGA, editor of Dragon Magazine… kind of obsessed with Greyhawk. And what happened to him? Oh! He’s making Pathfinder! Mother#%!$!

Screw 5th edition, screw Wizards of the Coast, the real Dungeons & Dragons is Pathfinder, yeah bitch!


D&D World Champion: Balthazar

Awesome Dice is thrilled to introduce the Dungeons & Dragons World Champion, Balthazar, as our official spokesperson. Balthazar seized the D&D World Champion title in 2005 and has defended it every year since. For those of you unfamiliar with the D&D World Championships, Balthazar gives a behind the scenes look at this exclusive invite-only tournament in his intro video:

Awesome Dice is sponsoring Balthazar in his 2012 run at the D&D World Championships, and we’ll be shooting many more videos with Balthazar leading up to the tournament. If you have any questions for Balthazar. just drop a comment below and we’ll pass them along (though our next several video shoots are already planned).

We are thrilled to have Balthazar on board and personally recommending Awesome Dice: the only dice that are certified awesome by Balthazar himself, and guaranteed to roll more or less randomly.